GOLF QUOTES

quotations about golf

Give me golf clubs, fresh air, and a beautiful partner, and you can keep my golf clubs and the fresh air.

JACK BENNY

attributed, Al Capone Was a Golfer

Tags: Jack Benny


A golf ball leaves the club at 125 miles per hour, or just a little faster than some golfers leave the office.

E. C. MCKENZIE

14,000 Quips and Quotes


Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.

DAVE BARRY

Dave Barry's Stay Fit and Healthy Until You're Dead

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From the beginning it was drilled into me that a golf course was a place where character fully reveals itself -- both its strengths and its flaws. As a result, I learned early not only to fix my ball marks but also to congratulate an opponent on a good shot, avoid walking ahead of a player preparing to shoot, remain perfectly still when someone else was playing, and a score of other small courtesies that revealed, in my father's mind, one's abiding respect for the game.

ARNOLD PALMER

A Golfer's Life

Tags: Arnold Palmer


The game of golf is full of consolation. The long driver who is beaten feels that he has a soul above putting. All those who cannot drive thirty yards suppose themselves to be good putters. Your hashy player piques himself on his power of recovery. The duffer is a duffer merely because every second shot is missed. Time or care will eliminate the misses, and then!

W. G. SIMPSON

"The Praise and Origin of Golf", Classic Golf Stories


Golf: A plague invented by the Calvinistic Scots as a punishment for man's sins.

JAMES BARRETT RESTON

Uncle Anthony's Unabridged Analogies


Golf is harder than baseball--you have to play your foul balls.

JACQUI NICOLETTI MCSORLEY & JOHNNY GONZALES

Golf Guide for Parents and Players


Golf is deceptively simple, endlessly complicated. A child can play it well and a grown man can never master it. It is almost a science, yet it is a puzzle with no answer.

ARNOLD PALMER

attributed, Arnold Palmer's Success Lessons: Wisdom on Golf, Business, and Life from the King of Golf

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The difference between a good golf shot and a bad one is the same as the difference between a beautiful and a plain woman -- a matter of millimetres.

IAN FLEMING

Goldfinger

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Golf is a game in which you try to put a small ball in a small hole with implements singularly unsuited to the purpose.

WINSTON CHURCHILL

attributed, Chronicle of Golf

Tags: Winston Churchill


A woman in Great Britain has died after being hit in the back of the head by a golf ball, on the first hole. Her husband was so distraught, he only played the front nine.

JAY LENO

The Tonight Show, October 12, 2009

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I play golf religiously. If I make a shot ... it's a miracle!

TOM WILSON

Ziggy, Apr. 4, 1998

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Golf ... combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks and hitting things with a stick.

P.J. O'ROURKE

Modern Manners

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Golf pros, almost to a man are conservative. Perhaps this is forced on them by the game they play. Golf is a game of considered judgment, careful ball placement and strategy, the avoidance of hazards. Most who play are not prone to take chances.

AL BARKOW

attributed, New Quotable Golfer


Golf is typical capitalist lunacy.

GEORGE BERNARD SHAW

attributed, The Hole Is More Than the Sum of the Putts

Tags: George Bernard Shaw


Golf sits in that beautiful junction between perfection and frustration.

COLLEEN FERRARY BADER

attributed, goodreads


Golf is a good walk spoiled.

MARK TWAIN

Greatly Exaggerated: The Wit and Wisdom of Mark Twain

Tags: Mark Twain


The socially redeeming aspect of golf lies in the vast number of lawyers and bankers and managers who play it, and when you think of the damage they would do if they were at the job instead, you can see why golf courses are a wise investment for any municipality.

GARRISON KEILLOR

"The Art of Travel,", A Prairie Home Companion, Jul. 28, 2009

Tags: Garrison Keillor


Of all the recreational activities of man, golf had to be the stupidest. The massive effort to beat nature into submission--daily moving, watering, and dousing of chemicals--so a man could pay ninety thousand dollars to push a ball into a hole. It was like they'd deliberately dreamed up the most expensive and ecologically damaging way to enjoy a day in the sun.

MAGGIE THRASH

Strange Lies


Perhaps more than any other sport, golf focuses pressure on the player. There are no time constraints, as there are in other sports. Your competitors are not allowed to hinder you, as they are in other sports. The pressure originates in yourself; it builds from doubts. A two-foot putt on the practice green doesn't spark many doubts. A two-foot putt to win a bet or a tournament or a Masters is another thing entirely.

JOE POSNANSKI

The Secret of Golf