DOUG LARSON QUOTES II

American columnist & editor (1926- )

The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it.

DOUG LARSON

Reader's Digest, vol. 136

Tags: cats


If the English language made any sense, a catastrophe would be an apostrophe with fur.

DOUG LARSON

attributed, If Ignorance Is Bliss, Why Aren't There More Happy People?


The surprising thing about young fools is how many survive to become old fools.

DOUG LARSON

attributed, Quotable Quotes

Tags: fools


To err is human; to admit it, superhuman.

DOUG LARSON

attributed, Quotable Quotes

Tags: mistakes


A pun is the lowest form of humor, unless you thought of it yourself.

DOUG LARSON

attributed, Great Funny Quotes

Tags: humor


Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.

DOUG LARSON

Woman's Day Magazine, Aug. 2011


Sometimes opportunity knocks, but most of the time it sneaks up and then quietly steals away.

DOUG LARSON

attributed, Pooped Puppies

Tags: opportunity


Fancy Restaurant: one that serves cold soup on purpose.

DOUG LARSON

attributed, A Treasury of Humor


More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.

DOUG LARSON

attributed, Better Off Wed

Tags: marriage


Nostalgia is a file that removes the rough edges from the good old days.

DOUG LARSON

attributed, Quotable Quotes

Tags: past


The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball.

DOUG LARSON

attributed, Dictionary of Quotations

Tags: snow


Heredity is a splendid phenomenon that relieves us of responsibility for our shortcomings.

DOUG LARSON

attributed, Quotable Quotes

Tags: heredity


Wisdom is the quality that keeps you from getting into situations where you need it.

DOUG LARSON

attributed, Words from the Wise

Tags: wisdom


Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.

DOUG LARSON

attributed, Phillips' Treasury of Humorous Quotations

Tags: politics


Establishing goals is all right if you don't let them deprive you of interesting detours.

DOUG LARSON

attributed, Quotable Quotes


Few things are more delightful than grandchildren fighting over your lap.

DOUG LARSON

attributed, Quotable Quotes

Tags: grandparents


People are living longer than ever before, a phenomenon undoubtedly made necessary by the 30-year mortgage.

DOUG LARSON

attributed, Quotable Quotes


Democracy is a system that gives people a chance to elect rascals of their own choice.

DOUG LARSON

attributed, Great Sayings and Quotations

Tags: democracy


Autumn is a season followed immediately by looking forward to spring.

DOUG LARSON

attributed, Quotable Quotes

Tags: autumn


If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day weekend.

DOUG LARSON

attributed, Phillips' Treasury of Humorous Quotations

Tags: cars