MARRIAGE QUOTES VI

quotations about marriage

There is a connection between what you are putting into your marriage and what you are getting out of it.

MARK GUNGOR

Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage

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One hundred percent of divorces start with a marriage.

MARK GUNGOR

Laugh Your Way To a Better Marriage

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Propose not to a woman when she hath gotten a new frock, nor when she is puffed up with victories; when she reigneth and rejoiceth in her hour of triumph, come not nigh unto her; but when she be ill or weary, when she is cast down in spirit and needeth a comforter, then be thou ready, and make thy suit.

GELETT BURGESS

The Maxims of Methuselah

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Marriage is only another word for irremediable slavery.

CHARLES WILLIAM DAY

The Maxims, Experiences, and Observations of Agogos

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Bad husbands will make bad wives.

WILLIAM MAKEPEACE THACKERAY

Newcomes

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Maybe marriages were made in heaven, but we believe in giving the old-fashioned porch-swing some credit.

ROBERT ELLIOTT GONZALES

Poems and Paragraphs

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Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age -- as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.

PHYLLIS DILLER

attributed, Funny Ladies: The Best Humor from America's Funniest Women

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If you have the least doubt about it, do not marry.

JOHN LUBBOCK

The Use of Life

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The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.

GROUCHO MARX

attributed, Wise Words and Quotes

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When a match has equal partners, then I fear not.

AESCHYLUS

Prometheus Bound

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Many brief follies--that is what you call love. And your marriage puts an end to many brief follies, with a single long stupidity.

FRIEDRICH NIETZSCHE

Thus Spoke Zarathustra

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I fall in love easily. I love the marriage ceremony. I love the honeymoon phase. I just don't want to be married. I'm not marriage material, but I am a very good honeymooner.

FERN MICHAELS

The Marriage Game

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"Happy marriage" is a contradiction in terms.

DOUGLAS CARLTON ABRAMS

The Lost Diary of Don Juan

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Marriage is often like Procrustes' famous code of hospitality. Procrustes built a bed for his guests the same way we build a marriage: according to his own expectations. Shorter visitors were stretched to fit; taller folks were surgically shortened. Likewise, your spouse will try to change you into what he or she thinks you should be, just as you have fine-tuning in mind for your partner.... Marriage is the procrustean bed in which we can develop and enhance our psychological and ethical integrity. It can be the cradle of adult development.

DAVID MORRIS SCHNARCH

Passionate Marriage

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According to a new survey, people who get divorced die early. People who stay married live longer. The difference is they just wish they were dead.

DAVID LETTERMAN

Late Show with David Letterman, January 11, 2012

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I don't know why some people get worked up about gay people marrying. It's not gay people who are "ruining the sanctity of marriage," it's celebrities.

CRAIG FERGUSON

The Late Show with Craig Ferguson, November 1, 2011

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Marriage as an institution developed from rape as a practice. Rape, originally defined as abduction, became marriage by capture. Marriage meant the taking was to extend in time, to be not only use of but possession of, or ownership.

ANDREA DWORKIN

Pornography

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You're married, and suddenly you have your own family. There's a nice comfort in that. That part of your life is certain ... You've got your home in that other person.

SCARLETT JOHANSSON

Good Housekeeping, October 2010

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Let men tremble to win the hand of woman, unless they win along with it the utmost passion of her heart.

NATHANIEL HAWTHORNE

The Scarlet Letter

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People who have found everything disappointing are surprised and pained when marriage proves no exception. Most of the complaints about ... matrimony arise not because it is worse than the rest of life, but because it is not incomparably better.

JOHN LEVY

attributed, Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts

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